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Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Saturday, November 19, 2016
Pink the new drug in town
Parents the name you need to know right now is Pink. This is the street name of a new synthetic drug being used by teenagers and college students. The legal name for this drug is U4. The DEA of the United States has banned the sale of this drug in all 50 states. However, the drug is still for sale on the internet. It is being sold by companies in China and it is being sold at a very cheap price. Therefore, teenagers can get it very easily.
This drug is twice as strong and heroin and seven times as strong as morphine. People often die the first time they use it. So far 100 deaths in the U.S. have been linked to Pink. It is currently mainly on the east coast but it is spreading across the country very quickly.
The drug comes in a white powder. Many teens assume they can use the same amount as if they were using morphine or heroin. However, this assumption is wrong. The drug is so deadly that the amount equivalent to a few grains of sand can kill someone. They call it Pink because teenagers typically snort it off their pinky. Teenagers who are buying this drug online often ignore the warning on the website that this drug is not for human consumption.
The DEA became aware of the drug two years ago and put a temporary ban on it. Now after further studies they have banned the sale of U4 or the street name for the drug, Pink, in all 50 states. Remember this drug is twice as strong as heroin and seven times as strong as morphine. We already have an epidemic of accidental overdosages from heroin in the U.S. The CDC estimated that in 2014 there were 50,000 deaths due to accidental heroin overdosages and a majority of these deaths were teenagers. Furthermore, the CDC statistics show a 62% increase over the past ten years in the number of accidental heroin deaths. Again most of the deaths are teenagers and children as young as 12 years old. Pink has the possibility to be far more devastating than any other drug.
As parents you need to go online and educate yourself about this drug. You also need to educate your teenagers and children in college about how dangerous this drug is in reality. Maybe they have already used it and nothing happened so they think people are exaggerating how dangerous this drug can be. However, this is the point you really need to understand this drug comes as a powder and using the size of one grain of sand too much can kill. There is no way to tell if you have too much on your pinky. Also since it is very new, we do not know the long term effects of this drug.
So again as parents educate your children about this drug and point out it states not for human use on many of the websites. Also if you notice any packages or bank charges by your teenager for buying items in China, check it out. This drug is not for sale in this country and the main way that people are obtaining it is via the internet from companies in China who still sell this drug.
Dr. Michael Rubino specializes in treating high risk teenagers. Those are teens who are suicidal, engage in cutting and drug use. These are a few examples but he is also an expert in providing psychotherapy to children and teenagers in general. For more information regarding his work or private visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or follow him on Twitter @RubinoTherapy.
This drug is twice as strong and heroin and seven times as strong as morphine. People often die the first time they use it. So far 100 deaths in the U.S. have been linked to Pink. It is currently mainly on the east coast but it is spreading across the country very quickly.
The drug comes in a white powder. Many teens assume they can use the same amount as if they were using morphine or heroin. However, this assumption is wrong. The drug is so deadly that the amount equivalent to a few grains of sand can kill someone. They call it Pink because teenagers typically snort it off their pinky. Teenagers who are buying this drug online often ignore the warning on the website that this drug is not for human consumption.
The DEA became aware of the drug two years ago and put a temporary ban on it. Now after further studies they have banned the sale of U4 or the street name for the drug, Pink, in all 50 states. Remember this drug is twice as strong as heroin and seven times as strong as morphine. We already have an epidemic of accidental overdosages from heroin in the U.S. The CDC estimated that in 2014 there were 50,000 deaths due to accidental heroin overdosages and a majority of these deaths were teenagers. Furthermore, the CDC statistics show a 62% increase over the past ten years in the number of accidental heroin deaths. Again most of the deaths are teenagers and children as young as 12 years old. Pink has the possibility to be far more devastating than any other drug.
As parents you need to go online and educate yourself about this drug. You also need to educate your teenagers and children in college about how dangerous this drug is in reality. Maybe they have already used it and nothing happened so they think people are exaggerating how dangerous this drug can be. However, this is the point you really need to understand this drug comes as a powder and using the size of one grain of sand too much can kill. There is no way to tell if you have too much on your pinky. Also since it is very new, we do not know the long term effects of this drug.
So again as parents educate your children about this drug and point out it states not for human use on many of the websites. Also if you notice any packages or bank charges by your teenager for buying items in China, check it out. This drug is not for sale in this country and the main way that people are obtaining it is via the internet from companies in China who still sell this drug.
Dr. Michael Rubino specializes in treating high risk teenagers. Those are teens who are suicidal, engage in cutting and drug use. These are a few examples but he is also an expert in providing psychotherapy to children and teenagers in general. For more information regarding his work or private visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or follow him on Twitter @RubinoTherapy.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
How Closely Should Parents Monitor Their Teenager?
In today's world there are many things for parents to worry about regarding their children. Parents worry about drugs, alcohol, sexting, teenagers send naked photos of themselves and online predators just to name a few. Teenagers have also developed ways to engage in activities without their parents knowledge. They have developed a texting language and apps that look like a way to get help for homework when it is really a way to chat online just to name a couple. So what is a parent to do?
Many parents have resorted to installing software on their teenagers cellphones and laptops so they can monitor everything their teenager is doing online. Other parents insist they must be present if their teenager is going online. However, are these approaches effective? From my experience as a therapist working with teens, the answer is no. I have many teens who tell me they now their parents are spying on their cellphones and they simply use different apps or have learned how to deactivate the program without their parent knowing. As for their parent being present again teenagers tell me they have developed a text language that their parents don't understand so they don't care if parents are present.
Another tactic that parents are using is monitoring where there teenagers are all the time via their cellphones. In addition parents are questioning their teenager about everything and wanting to meet all their friends and their friends parents. This often causes a number of arguments. Teenagers tell me they feel smothered by their parents and they resent the lack of trust. The most common result is this pushes the teenager a way from their parents and damaging the parent-teen relationship.
One final example is that more parents are using their teenager's school website. Parents are often checking weekly, some daily, what grades their teenager are getting in their classes and have they been doing and turning in their homework. Again, this creates a number of arguments. Teenagers feel like their parents don't trust them and they feel like they are being treated like a ten year old. The result I usually see are angry teenagers who don't want to talk to their parents due to the lack of trust.
When I speak with these parents, most parents are using these approaches out of fear. They hear about all the risks teenagers are exposed to these days and they don't want their teenagers to get hurt. In the parents defense, I have many teenagers in therapy because they are in trouble at school and/or probation for doing something they didn't think they could get in trouble for. The best example are pictures. If a teenager sends a naked picture of themselves to their boyfriend or girlfriend, they are guilty of transmitting child pornography. They are under 18 years old so they broke the law that they never were thinking about.
Since most parents are concerned about safety and not invading their teenagers privacy, I recommend a different approach to parents. We need to start discussing all of these issues with children in the third grade. Yes the third grade and it needs to be an on going conversation. Third graders are using computers and the research indicates this is usually the age when most children see porn for the first time.
Parents need to start discussing drugs, alcohol and sex too at a younger age. The research shows many kids try marijuana for the first time in the fifth grade. Also on middle school campuses many kids are selling Vicodin, Concerta etc. Furthermore, many middle schools provide condoms to sixth graders because research shows many children in middle school are sexually active.
The point is for parents to start having conversations early so your child is educated about risks and so they feel comfortable coming to you if there is a problem. Monitoring your child at this young age is appropriate. They still don't understand everything yet and as a parent it is your job to educate your child and keep them safe while doing so.
If you do so, this should reduce arguments and help build an open, honest relationship with your child.
As for teenagers who are 16 and 17 years old. Parents need to start to take a step back. The spyware is inappropriate and checking their homework all the time is inappropriate in my opinion. Knowing where there are going and coming home is appropriate especially if they are using your car. You need to remember in a year, year and a half your teenager will be 18 years old. They are then a legal adult and are responsible for their behavior.
Yes if you step back they may make some mistakes, but that is one way we learn. Also if they are going to make a mistake, it is better if they make it at 16 versus 18 years old. I understand that it may be frightening to let go, but if we want them to act like an adult, we need to allow them the opportunity to act like an adult. If you have been discussing issues with them since they were nine years old they should be prepared. Additionally, this way strengthens your relationship and helps your teenager make appropriate decisions because they know they can ask for help by talking to you.
Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist who specializes in treating children and teenagers especially high risk teenagers. For more information about his work with teenagers or his private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/Drrubiano3
Many parents have resorted to installing software on their teenagers cellphones and laptops so they can monitor everything their teenager is doing online. Other parents insist they must be present if their teenager is going online. However, are these approaches effective? From my experience as a therapist working with teens, the answer is no. I have many teens who tell me they now their parents are spying on their cellphones and they simply use different apps or have learned how to deactivate the program without their parent knowing. As for their parent being present again teenagers tell me they have developed a text language that their parents don't understand so they don't care if parents are present.
Another tactic that parents are using is monitoring where there teenagers are all the time via their cellphones. In addition parents are questioning their teenager about everything and wanting to meet all their friends and their friends parents. This often causes a number of arguments. Teenagers tell me they feel smothered by their parents and they resent the lack of trust. The most common result is this pushes the teenager a way from their parents and damaging the parent-teen relationship.
One final example is that more parents are using their teenager's school website. Parents are often checking weekly, some daily, what grades their teenager are getting in their classes and have they been doing and turning in their homework. Again, this creates a number of arguments. Teenagers feel like their parents don't trust them and they feel like they are being treated like a ten year old. The result I usually see are angry teenagers who don't want to talk to their parents due to the lack of trust.
When I speak with these parents, most parents are using these approaches out of fear. They hear about all the risks teenagers are exposed to these days and they don't want their teenagers to get hurt. In the parents defense, I have many teenagers in therapy because they are in trouble at school and/or probation for doing something they didn't think they could get in trouble for. The best example are pictures. If a teenager sends a naked picture of themselves to their boyfriend or girlfriend, they are guilty of transmitting child pornography. They are under 18 years old so they broke the law that they never were thinking about.
Since most parents are concerned about safety and not invading their teenagers privacy, I recommend a different approach to parents. We need to start discussing all of these issues with children in the third grade. Yes the third grade and it needs to be an on going conversation. Third graders are using computers and the research indicates this is usually the age when most children see porn for the first time.
Parents need to start discussing drugs, alcohol and sex too at a younger age. The research shows many kids try marijuana for the first time in the fifth grade. Also on middle school campuses many kids are selling Vicodin, Concerta etc. Furthermore, many middle schools provide condoms to sixth graders because research shows many children in middle school are sexually active.
The point is for parents to start having conversations early so your child is educated about risks and so they feel comfortable coming to you if there is a problem. Monitoring your child at this young age is appropriate. They still don't understand everything yet and as a parent it is your job to educate your child and keep them safe while doing so.
If you do so, this should reduce arguments and help build an open, honest relationship with your child.
As for teenagers who are 16 and 17 years old. Parents need to start to take a step back. The spyware is inappropriate and checking their homework all the time is inappropriate in my opinion. Knowing where there are going and coming home is appropriate especially if they are using your car. You need to remember in a year, year and a half your teenager will be 18 years old. They are then a legal adult and are responsible for their behavior.
Yes if you step back they may make some mistakes, but that is one way we learn. Also if they are going to make a mistake, it is better if they make it at 16 versus 18 years old. I understand that it may be frightening to let go, but if we want them to act like an adult, we need to allow them the opportunity to act like an adult. If you have been discussing issues with them since they were nine years old they should be prepared. Additionally, this way strengthens your relationship and helps your teenager make appropriate decisions because they know they can ask for help by talking to you.
Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist who specializes in treating children and teenagers especially high risk teenagers. For more information about his work with teenagers or his private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/Drrubiano3
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Psychotherapy is not a "dirty word"
In our society there is a huge negative stereotype about mental illness and treatment for mental illness. Given we live in the United States in the 21st century, this is quite surprising. Especially since statistics show the 1 in 5 people could benefit from psychotherapy (CDC, 2014).
Most people when they think about psychotherapy or mental illness, think of someone sleeping in the street or some one with severe schizophrenia. Because of this stereotype many people feel ashamed or embarrassed if they are told they need therapy. Family members also feel ashamed and embarrassed and never mention it to other people if someone in their family needs psychotherapy. People are afraid that other people will think they are "crazy" too, if someone in their family is going to therapy. However, most people who need treatment for a mental illness need treatment for depression or anxiety not schizophrenia.
Research studies show that most depression is due to a chemical imbalance in brain. Diabetes is due to the pancreas not being able to coordinate glucose levels in the body. We don't make a person with diabetes feel embarrassed or ashamed so why do we make someone dealing with depression feel embarrassed or ashamed?
What is the cost of this stereotype? People who have depression are at risk for suicide. The 2014 Center for Disease Control statistics show that suicide is the third leading cause of death for people aged10 to 24. Yes ten year old children are suffering from depression and are killing themselves. One of the most common methods is a gun. People assume this is a guarantee. Wrong, a gun is not a guarantee. Quite often the gun jumps and the person lives. However, they have to undergo multiple surgeries to try to rebuild their face. However, no matter how good the surgeon, the person is left with multiple permanent scars. Psychotherapy and medication might have prevented the suicide attempt.
However, because of our negative stereotype, depression and suicide have never been taken seriously. The Golden Gate Bridge is the most common place in the world for people to jump off when they are trying to commit suicide. It wasn't until just recently that the Bridge District voted on what type of anti-suicide barrier they are going to build. However, even though they have voted for an anti-suicide net, last week they were still debating the details. The Golden Gate Bridge is 78 years old. It has taken 78 years to do something about a life or death issue and they are still debating over minor details. BART has been around for decades and people have been jumping in front of trains for years. This year BART is starting an anti-suicide campaign. How many lives were lost needlessly to suicide, prior to this campaign and why have they waited so long to put one in place?
Often we assume it is a money issue. Only poor people commit suicide because they cannot afford treatment. The suicide of Robin Williams destroys that myth. He had plenty of financial resources for treatment and had been in and out of treatment centers for years. In an interview with Dyane Swayer he described how overwhelming depression is, he said, "no matter what there is always that little voice in the back of my mind saying jump." If that voice is always there but society is saying there is something wrong with you for having depression in the first place or because you have not over come it, are you going to ask for help or keep seeking help? No.
Yes society often blames the patient. Why don't they try harder? Why didn't they think of their family? After Robin Williams' suicide a number of comedians and actors talked about their silent struggle with depression. Rosie O'Donnell stated it best, "when you are that deep down in that black hole with intense emotional pain, the only think you can think about is how to stop the pain. You don't think about your family or anything else."
May was Mental Health Awareness Month, think about your opinion or thoughts about mental illness. Think about a 10 year old boy feeling that suicide is the only way out of his pain. Think about the fact that he is dealing with a medical diagnosis similar to diabetes or high blood pressure. If this is right, why is there this negative stigma about mental illness? If a child has diabetes he receives medical treatment, there are summer camps and there is no shame put on the child or the family.
We need to make a change in how we view or react to mental illness. We live in the United States of America and we are supposed to be the super power in the world. You wouldn't think that in the most powerful nation in the world that the third leading cause of death for our children is suicide. We must change this ridiculous stereotype we have about mental illness and start providing people and children with appropriate treatment for their mental illness. The life you save might be your's child's life or the life of a family member or friend.
We may want to look at England. The Duke and Duchesses of Cambridge and Prince Henry have formed a program called, Heads Together. The goal of the program is to eliminate the negative stereotype about mental health and to make sure people who need psychotherapy receive it. In fact, the Duchess of Cambridge said publicly that if either of her children ever need psychotherapy that they will receive it. We might want to follow their example.
Dr. Michael Rubino specializes in treating children and teenagers. He is very active in eliminating the stereotype about mental health. For more information about Dr. Rubino's practice or his work visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or follow him on Twitter @RubinoTherapy.
Most people when they think about psychotherapy or mental illness, think of someone sleeping in the street or some one with severe schizophrenia. Because of this stereotype many people feel ashamed or embarrassed if they are told they need therapy. Family members also feel ashamed and embarrassed and never mention it to other people if someone in their family needs psychotherapy. People are afraid that other people will think they are "crazy" too, if someone in their family is going to therapy. However, most people who need treatment for a mental illness need treatment for depression or anxiety not schizophrenia.
Research studies show that most depression is due to a chemical imbalance in brain. Diabetes is due to the pancreas not being able to coordinate glucose levels in the body. We don't make a person with diabetes feel embarrassed or ashamed so why do we make someone dealing with depression feel embarrassed or ashamed?
What is the cost of this stereotype? People who have depression are at risk for suicide. The 2014 Center for Disease Control statistics show that suicide is the third leading cause of death for people aged10 to 24. Yes ten year old children are suffering from depression and are killing themselves. One of the most common methods is a gun. People assume this is a guarantee. Wrong, a gun is not a guarantee. Quite often the gun jumps and the person lives. However, they have to undergo multiple surgeries to try to rebuild their face. However, no matter how good the surgeon, the person is left with multiple permanent scars. Psychotherapy and medication might have prevented the suicide attempt.
However, because of our negative stereotype, depression and suicide have never been taken seriously. The Golden Gate Bridge is the most common place in the world for people to jump off when they are trying to commit suicide. It wasn't until just recently that the Bridge District voted on what type of anti-suicide barrier they are going to build. However, even though they have voted for an anti-suicide net, last week they were still debating the details. The Golden Gate Bridge is 78 years old. It has taken 78 years to do something about a life or death issue and they are still debating over minor details. BART has been around for decades and people have been jumping in front of trains for years. This year BART is starting an anti-suicide campaign. How many lives were lost needlessly to suicide, prior to this campaign and why have they waited so long to put one in place?
Often we assume it is a money issue. Only poor people commit suicide because they cannot afford treatment. The suicide of Robin Williams destroys that myth. He had plenty of financial resources for treatment and had been in and out of treatment centers for years. In an interview with Dyane Swayer he described how overwhelming depression is, he said, "no matter what there is always that little voice in the back of my mind saying jump." If that voice is always there but society is saying there is something wrong with you for having depression in the first place or because you have not over come it, are you going to ask for help or keep seeking help? No.
Yes society often blames the patient. Why don't they try harder? Why didn't they think of their family? After Robin Williams' suicide a number of comedians and actors talked about their silent struggle with depression. Rosie O'Donnell stated it best, "when you are that deep down in that black hole with intense emotional pain, the only think you can think about is how to stop the pain. You don't think about your family or anything else."
May was Mental Health Awareness Month, think about your opinion or thoughts about mental illness. Think about a 10 year old boy feeling that suicide is the only way out of his pain. Think about the fact that he is dealing with a medical diagnosis similar to diabetes or high blood pressure. If this is right, why is there this negative stigma about mental illness? If a child has diabetes he receives medical treatment, there are summer camps and there is no shame put on the child or the family.
We need to make a change in how we view or react to mental illness. We live in the United States of America and we are supposed to be the super power in the world. You wouldn't think that in the most powerful nation in the world that the third leading cause of death for our children is suicide. We must change this ridiculous stereotype we have about mental illness and start providing people and children with appropriate treatment for their mental illness. The life you save might be your's child's life or the life of a family member or friend.
We may want to look at England. The Duke and Duchesses of Cambridge and Prince Henry have formed a program called, Heads Together. The goal of the program is to eliminate the negative stereotype about mental health and to make sure people who need psychotherapy receive it. In fact, the Duchess of Cambridge said publicly that if either of her children ever need psychotherapy that they will receive it. We might want to follow their example.
Dr. Michael Rubino specializes in treating children and teenagers. He is very active in eliminating the stereotype about mental health. For more information about Dr. Rubino's practice or his work visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or follow him on Twitter @RubinoTherapy.
Sunday, November 6, 2016
Tips on How to Survive Thanksgiving
The Holiday Season is coming up fast. For many people this is a happy time and for others it is a stressful time. The Holidays can bring up family issues that have not been resolved yet or everyone is trying to make the day prefect that it becomes a stressful day not a happy one.
Thanksgiving is coming up first so let's deal with that day. Thanksgiving with family can mean an increase in chaos and stress. Having a Thanksgiving plan can reduce anxiety, decrease the likelihood of arguments and increase the likelihood that everyone has a happy and enjoyable Thanksgiving that they were expecting.
Lori Lite who writes about stress uses the acronym G-R-A-T-E-F-U-L as her Thanksgiving stress guide. It helps her and others get through the day in a peaceful manner. Each letter reminds you of something to do or a way to view the day so you do not get upset.
So here is how to use Gratitude as your Thanksgiving Stress Reliever.
G- Gratitude is the opposite of stress. It is difficult to feel stressed out when we are feeling gratitude.
R- Relax your expectations and let the day unfold. You might be surprised by the outcome.
A- Acceptance is the opposite of judgment. If we accept our family member for who they are and what they are capable of we can relax and enjoy ourselves.
T- Teens can be a part of Thanksgiving. Ask them what they would like to bring to the table. Let them bring it.
E- Empower children and let them help with age appropriate assignments. Putting the nuts out or making the centerpiece. Let them do it their way…not your way.
F– Focus on family for this day. Put all work and worries on the shelf
U– Unplug the electronics for dinner so that everyone can be fully present.
L- Love is often overlooked when we are busy. Cook with love… Speak with love… Show your love and gratitude for your family on this Thanksgiving Day.
This might seem very simple and obvious, but at times the best solutions are rather simple. Also you may want to practice using this in your daily life. It may seem simple, but it may be harder to do than you think because you are accustomed to doing things and viewing life in a certain way. This idea may challenge you to reassess how you approach life in general. Also this acronym may be helpful in your daily life.
Many of us are not use to looking at our lives in terms of what we have to be grateful for. Also many of us have a hard time relaxing and not worrying about work or other things we need to do. I have found that just being in the moment is difficult for most people. Most of us believe we always have to be doing something. This creates stress and disappointment. Finally, since we feel we must always be doing something, disconnecting from cellphones and other electronics can be very difficult for many people. However, think about it? How can you have fun and enjoy the day with your family, if your mind is not fully present? You can't. Furthermore, this can create tension for others because they feel ignored and for you because you feel they don't respect how important what you are doing at the moment is to you. As a result, you have stress which can turn into an argument and everyone is upset. A day of happiness becomes a day of anger and disappointment.
Therefore, in order to avoid this possibility trying use the word GRATEFUL and following its guidelines for the day. What do you have to lose?
Dr. Michael Rubino specializes in working with children, teenagers and their families. He has over 19 years experience. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or visit his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/drrubino3.
Thanksgiving is coming up first so let's deal with that day. Thanksgiving with family can mean an increase in chaos and stress. Having a Thanksgiving plan can reduce anxiety, decrease the likelihood of arguments and increase the likelihood that everyone has a happy and enjoyable Thanksgiving that they were expecting.
Lori Lite who writes about stress uses the acronym G-R-A-T-E-F-U-L as her Thanksgiving stress guide. It helps her and others get through the day in a peaceful manner. Each letter reminds you of something to do or a way to view the day so you do not get upset.
So here is how to use Gratitude as your Thanksgiving Stress Reliever.
G- Gratitude is the opposite of stress. It is difficult to feel stressed out when we are feeling gratitude.
R- Relax your expectations and let the day unfold. You might be surprised by the outcome.
A- Acceptance is the opposite of judgment. If we accept our family member for who they are and what they are capable of we can relax and enjoy ourselves.
T- Teens can be a part of Thanksgiving. Ask them what they would like to bring to the table. Let them bring it.
E- Empower children and let them help with age appropriate assignments. Putting the nuts out or making the centerpiece. Let them do it their way…not your way.
F– Focus on family for this day. Put all work and worries on the shelf
U– Unplug the electronics for dinner so that everyone can be fully present.
L- Love is often overlooked when we are busy. Cook with love… Speak with love… Show your love and gratitude for your family on this Thanksgiving Day.
This might seem very simple and obvious, but at times the best solutions are rather simple. Also you may want to practice using this in your daily life. It may seem simple, but it may be harder to do than you think because you are accustomed to doing things and viewing life in a certain way. This idea may challenge you to reassess how you approach life in general. Also this acronym may be helpful in your daily life.
Many of us are not use to looking at our lives in terms of what we have to be grateful for. Also many of us have a hard time relaxing and not worrying about work or other things we need to do. I have found that just being in the moment is difficult for most people. Most of us believe we always have to be doing something. This creates stress and disappointment. Finally, since we feel we must always be doing something, disconnecting from cellphones and other electronics can be very difficult for many people. However, think about it? How can you have fun and enjoy the day with your family, if your mind is not fully present? You can't. Furthermore, this can create tension for others because they feel ignored and for you because you feel they don't respect how important what you are doing at the moment is to you. As a result, you have stress which can turn into an argument and everyone is upset. A day of happiness becomes a day of anger and disappointment.
Therefore, in order to avoid this possibility trying use the word GRATEFUL and following its guidelines for the day. What do you have to lose?
Dr. Michael Rubino specializes in working with children, teenagers and their families. He has over 19 years experience. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or visit his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/drrubino3.
Saturday, November 5, 2016
Lies Schools Tell Parents About IEPs
School is back in session and schools are starting to review and assess children for IEPs (Individualized Educational Plan) or 504 plans. I have been hearing from parents all over the country who are afraid about lies they are hearing at their child's school. Many of these parents are panicked and overwhelmed. They know their child needs help at school but they do not want to ruin their child's future.
The issue that parents are feeling confused about is should their child have an IEP or a 504 plan. An IEP is for children who are having difficulty learning subjects in the classroom. Not because they have low intelligence, because they have a different learning style. I have seen numerous parents and received numerous emails from parents stating their child's school has told them an IEP would mark their child for life as unintelligent and possibly bankrupt the school district. None of these remarks are true.
An IEP will not stop your child from getting into a college or getting a job. Not having a decent education can stop your child from getting into college or getting a job. Therefore, if your child needs an IEP and not a 504 Plan in order to benefit from their education, not having an IEP could stop your child from getting into college or a job because they failed to receive a proper education.
Also think about when you applied for college or a job, did they ever ask for your middle school or elementary school records? The answer is no. Therefore, there is no way for a college or job to know if they ever had an IEP unless your child volunteers the information when they apply for college. Once again, colleges and jobs never ask an applicant if they ever had an IEP. Actually, an IEP can help students receive additional time taking the SAT and ACT and assist in college if they need it. So actually, it can help a child applying to college.
As for the idea that an IEP will bankrupt the school district, this is absurd. The school districts have plenty of money to provide children who need an IEP with an IEP. A 504 plan costs the district nothing and if the district fails to comply with the 504 plan, you really have no legal recourse. The IEP process is the same across the Country and if the school doesn't comply with the IEP, you have a number of options.
Parents before you panic or sign anything with the school district stop and think. Look at the proposed plan and decide do you think this is really what your child needs or is the school bullying you into signing their proposed plan. If you have doubts, don't sign and seek a second opinion. You are the one in charge. The school district cannot do anything until you sign the agreement. I have seen many parents made to feel guilty if they do not sign the school's plan. You are not a bad parent, you are a cautious parent. I have seen many schools doing what is best for them financially not what is best for your child.
For more information about IEPs and 504 plans visit the website www.lucascenter.org.
Dr. Michael Rubino has worked with children and families for over 19 years. For more information about Dr. Michael Rubino's work or private practice visit his website www.rcs-ca.com
The issue that parents are feeling confused about is should their child have an IEP or a 504 plan. An IEP is for children who are having difficulty learning subjects in the classroom. Not because they have low intelligence, because they have a different learning style. I have seen numerous parents and received numerous emails from parents stating their child's school has told them an IEP would mark their child for life as unintelligent and possibly bankrupt the school district. None of these remarks are true.
An IEP will not stop your child from getting into a college or getting a job. Not having a decent education can stop your child from getting into college or getting a job. Therefore, if your child needs an IEP and not a 504 Plan in order to benefit from their education, not having an IEP could stop your child from getting into college or a job because they failed to receive a proper education.
Also think about when you applied for college or a job, did they ever ask for your middle school or elementary school records? The answer is no. Therefore, there is no way for a college or job to know if they ever had an IEP unless your child volunteers the information when they apply for college. Once again, colleges and jobs never ask an applicant if they ever had an IEP. Actually, an IEP can help students receive additional time taking the SAT and ACT and assist in college if they need it. So actually, it can help a child applying to college.
As for the idea that an IEP will bankrupt the school district, this is absurd. The school districts have plenty of money to provide children who need an IEP with an IEP. A 504 plan costs the district nothing and if the district fails to comply with the 504 plan, you really have no legal recourse. The IEP process is the same across the Country and if the school doesn't comply with the IEP, you have a number of options.
Parents before you panic or sign anything with the school district stop and think. Look at the proposed plan and decide do you think this is really what your child needs or is the school bullying you into signing their proposed plan. If you have doubts, don't sign and seek a second opinion. You are the one in charge. The school district cannot do anything until you sign the agreement. I have seen many parents made to feel guilty if they do not sign the school's plan. You are not a bad parent, you are a cautious parent. I have seen many schools doing what is best for them financially not what is best for your child.
For more information about IEPs and 504 plans visit the website www.lucascenter.org.
Dr. Michael Rubino has worked with children and families for over 19 years. For more information about Dr. Michael Rubino's work or private practice visit his website www.rcs-ca.com
Camouflagging A Dangerous Teen Behavior
A new behavior for teenage and tween girls has been identified by an adolescent psychologist. The behavior that has been identified is called “Camouflaging.” This behavior left unidentified can lead to low self-esteem, depression, cutting etc.
Camouflaging is when an adolescent girl changes how she looks, her opinions or things that she does in order to be accepted by the other girls. The real problem occurs when the girl is changing so much about herself or does it for so long that she forgets or losses track of her real self.
While this behavior has just been identified in girls and what the researcher explains appears correct, I believe this behavior applies to boys too.
Many adolescent boys change the way they dress, their beliefs and the way they act to be accepted by their friends. I hear many of these boys telling me in therapy that they feel lost. They tell me they no longer have an idea of who they really are or believe or feel. These boys also turn to alcohol, drugs and cutting. Usually to numb out their lost feeling or to feel something.
As a result, many teens start acting like someone they are not just to be accepted. This fear of not being accepted and forgetting their real self because they has been covering it up for so long or denying their true feelings for so long can result in boys and girls having low self-esteem or feeling depressed.
This low self-esteem and depression can result in such behaviors as cutting, eating disorders, drug use, becoming sexually active etc. Often boys and girls cut just so they can feel as I stated above. The constant denying of their emotions can cause boys and girls to lose a sense of their true feelings. Therefore, cutting can occur so boys and girls feel. Denying their feeling or who they are can result in boys and girls feeling very confused. Therefore, they look for behaviors that help them remember who they are and help them identify their true feelings. They also seek behaviors that help them deal with denying their feelings or changing their behaviors. This can trigger eating disorders or drug abuse. This helps numb out the feeling and confusion of denying their feeling and trying to forget their true self. This can cause feelings of depression and anxiety too.
What should parents look for in their teens? If your son or daughter tries to stop wearing his or her glasses or if he or she all of a sudden changes how he or she dresses or acts these are possible warning signs. Another change could be not doing as well in their classes because they are afraid of looking too smart.
While it is normal for teenagers to make changes in their attitudes or how they dress, we are talking about something that goes far beyond normal self-expression.
This is what we are talking about. If teenagers are changing their hair or how they dress as a way to express themselves that is normal teenage behavior. However, if teenagers are doing it just to fit in and they end up losing a sense of their true self this is camouflaging.
Camouflaging results in depression or low self-esteem because the teenager is forgetting their true self. If they are doing it as a way of trying to experiment with their self expression, the teenager is happy and confident as stated above. This is the main point to understand. Experimenting with their dress and beliefs etc. is normal for teens and helps teenagers identify themselves, however denying or camouflaging their feelings results in teens losing themselves and many behavior problems. This is the main thing for parents to watch for in their adolescents behavior.
If you go onto Yahoo and look up Camouflaging you will find a segment on Good Morning America about Camouflaging. In fact, here is the link to the GMA segment https://gma.yahoo.com/video/parents-worry-tween-teen-camouflaging-122935763.html?soc_src=copy. Also if parents look at the February issue of Teen Vogue, you will find an article about Camouflaging.
Dr Michael Rubino has over 19 years experience working with teenagers and their families. Dr Rubino is considered an expert psychotherapist in the treatment of teens. For more information about Dr Rubino and his private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com
Camouflaging is when an adolescent girl changes how she looks, her opinions or things that she does in order to be accepted by the other girls. The real problem occurs when the girl is changing so much about herself or does it for so long that she forgets or losses track of her real self.
While this behavior has just been identified in girls and what the researcher explains appears correct, I believe this behavior applies to boys too.
Many adolescent boys change the way they dress, their beliefs and the way they act to be accepted by their friends. I hear many of these boys telling me in therapy that they feel lost. They tell me they no longer have an idea of who they really are or believe or feel. These boys also turn to alcohol, drugs and cutting. Usually to numb out their lost feeling or to feel something.
As a result, many teens start acting like someone they are not just to be accepted. This fear of not being accepted and forgetting their real self because they has been covering it up for so long or denying their true feelings for so long can result in boys and girls having low self-esteem or feeling depressed.
This low self-esteem and depression can result in such behaviors as cutting, eating disorders, drug use, becoming sexually active etc. Often boys and girls cut just so they can feel as I stated above. The constant denying of their emotions can cause boys and girls to lose a sense of their true feelings. Therefore, cutting can occur so boys and girls feel. Denying their feeling or who they are can result in boys and girls feeling very confused. Therefore, they look for behaviors that help them remember who they are and help them identify their true feelings. They also seek behaviors that help them deal with denying their feelings or changing their behaviors. This can trigger eating disorders or drug abuse. This helps numb out the feeling and confusion of denying their feeling and trying to forget their true self. This can cause feelings of depression and anxiety too.
What should parents look for in their teens? If your son or daughter tries to stop wearing his or her glasses or if he or she all of a sudden changes how he or she dresses or acts these are possible warning signs. Another change could be not doing as well in their classes because they are afraid of looking too smart.
While it is normal for teenagers to make changes in their attitudes or how they dress, we are talking about something that goes far beyond normal self-expression.
This is what we are talking about. If teenagers are changing their hair or how they dress as a way to express themselves that is normal teenage behavior. However, if teenagers are doing it just to fit in and they end up losing a sense of their true self this is camouflaging.
Camouflaging results in depression or low self-esteem because the teenager is forgetting their true self. If they are doing it as a way of trying to experiment with their self expression, the teenager is happy and confident as stated above. This is the main point to understand. Experimenting with their dress and beliefs etc. is normal for teens and helps teenagers identify themselves, however denying or camouflaging their feelings results in teens losing themselves and many behavior problems. This is the main thing for parents to watch for in their adolescents behavior.
If you go onto Yahoo and look up Camouflaging you will find a segment on Good Morning America about Camouflaging. In fact, here is the link to the GMA segment https://gma.yahoo.com/video/parents-worry-tween-teen-camouflaging-122935763.html?soc_src=copy. Also if parents look at the February issue of Teen Vogue, you will find an article about Camouflaging.
Dr Michael Rubino has over 19 years experience working with teenagers and their families. Dr Rubino is considered an expert psychotherapist in the treatment of teens. For more information about Dr Rubino and his private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com
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