The Holiday season is usually a difficult and stressful time for many families. Everyone trying to make plans and trying to see grandparents and other family members. It can be especially difficult for divorce families. After a divorce the issues often become even more stressful.
One thing that parents need to remember is that they decided on the divorce the children did not. I often hear arguments about parents want their time or wanting to continue their family's holiday traditions. However, they often ignore what the children want to do.
Many times a divorce may be finalized, but the parents are not done fighting with each other. Therefore, the use Christmas as a reason to continue to argue or try to hurt each other. What they forget is they are really hurting their children more than each other.
Based on dealing with families who are divorced, I would make the following recommendations to parents. First, parents need to remember that Christmas is more about the children not them. Next they need to develop a plan together regarding the Holidays. The first step is for the parents to talk together about what the children seem to enjoy the most about Christmas. Also parents should also ask the children what they enjoy most about Christmas.
After you have this information then sit down civilly and see how you can allow the children to do what they enjoy most about Christmas. Another thing to remember is the children should not be forced to choose between Mom and Dad. Come up with a plan where the children have equal time with both parents. Also they should have equal time with grandparents, cousins and other Extended family from Mom and Dad's side.
The other thing is don't turn Christmas into a competition. Gifts should not be used to influence the children. You should discuss with each other what your children want and what you plan to get the children. When you were married you discussed what to get them so even after the divorce you can coparent and discuss what is realistic and what is not.
Finally, remember Christmas time is a time to get together as a family and enjoy each other. Therefore, for the sake of your children put your divorce aside and decide how this can be a happy family time for everyone. If you can do things together, that would be the ideal situation. If you can't then being kind to each other and making the Holiday season fun for the children is the goal for you as parents. Stated another way, the children should still feel like they have one family at Christmas not two. Maybe things are being done a little differently because of the divorce but they still have a mother and father.
If you achieve this goal, it will make you feel better too. A divorce should not wreck your lives. Obviously, your lives will change after a divorce but you can still be a family.
Dr. Michael Rubino has over 19 years working with children/teenagers and families. For more information about Dr. Rubino's work or private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com
Sunday, December 4, 2016
A Warning regarding Teenage Underground Parties
The fire in Oakland is a terrible, tragedy. A number of young lives have been lost needlessly and many families and friends are going through the fear and worry of waiting to hear if their loved one is okay or hear the news that they are fearing that their loved one has died. Unfortunately, this was a tragedy that was waiting to occur and could happen again.
These "underground parties" are very common with teenagers and college students. The place of the parties are usually posted on Facebook or other social media sites that teenagers use the day before the party. Typically these parties occur in warehouses in Oakland and San Francisco. The party organizers do not get permits nor do they consider safety. Typically at these parties there is a lot of alcohol and drugs such as ecstasy, pink, spice, wax, heroin etc. Therefore, the party organizers are looking for out of the way locations were they are unlikely to be detected by the police.
Many teenagers view these parties as fun because of the dancing and because typically these parties start late at night and go until 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning. Also since it is undergone if they want to drink or use any of the drugs they can. All they need is the money to buy it and no one will stop them.
Typically a teen will be looking on social media to find the underground parties for the weekend. Often while online they meet other people who are going and they often make plans to go with someone they just met online. Since the parties start usually after 10pm many parents don't know if their teenager is going to an underground party. The teen usually says they are spending the night at a friends house and they sneak out of the friends house to go to the party.
I have had many teenagers tell me about these parties. When I point out the risk such as they don't know anything about who set it up, the safety of the area or the warehouse, the safety of the people since they just met these people and the safety of the drugs since they have no idea about what they are really taking or drinking. Teenagers tend to say that I am over concerned and there is nothing to worry about because they have gone to these parties before.
However, the fire in Oakland shows there is something to worry about. The organizer had no concerns about safety nor is he taking responsibility for the fire and what happened. Furthermore, since it was done secretly no one knows for sure who was there and if they are safe or not. I saw a page on Facebook for people to check in as safe. However, this doesn't help the families who are waiting to hear about a loved one or who lost a loved one.
Parents this is an excellent time to sit down with your teenager and talk about these "underground parties." Discuss the dangers associated with these parties. Teenagers may argue about the fact that these parties are safe, but point to the Oakland party as an example that the parties are not safe. Discuss with your teen other places they can go to and hear the tech and dance music and where they can go and dance.
Parents we also need to put pressure on the authorities to hold the owner of these warehouses and party organizers responsible for what happens at these parties. This fire was a horrific event, but many kids overdose at these parties. Many of these teens die because no one wants to call the police or everyone is so busy dancing and using that they don't notice if someone has overdosed. Again, the organizer is never held responsible.
One last point, parents when you discuss the "underground parties" with your teenagers use the Oakland fire as proof that bad things can and do happen. Many teenagers feel safe taking chances with their lives because they don't believe anything will happen to them. The tragedy in Oakland proves something can happen.
My thoughts and prayers are with the families who lost a loved one in the fire or who are still waiting to hear. My thoughts and prayers are also with the first responders who are working day and night and also being traumatized by what they are seeing. This is a terrible tragedy that we hopefully will learn from and prevent another tragedy in the future.
Dr. Michael Rubino has over 19 years experience working with teenagers and learning about their online activities. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3.
These "underground parties" are very common with teenagers and college students. The place of the parties are usually posted on Facebook or other social media sites that teenagers use the day before the party. Typically these parties occur in warehouses in Oakland and San Francisco. The party organizers do not get permits nor do they consider safety. Typically at these parties there is a lot of alcohol and drugs such as ecstasy, pink, spice, wax, heroin etc. Therefore, the party organizers are looking for out of the way locations were they are unlikely to be detected by the police.
Many teenagers view these parties as fun because of the dancing and because typically these parties start late at night and go until 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning. Also since it is undergone if they want to drink or use any of the drugs they can. All they need is the money to buy it and no one will stop them.
Typically a teen will be looking on social media to find the underground parties for the weekend. Often while online they meet other people who are going and they often make plans to go with someone they just met online. Since the parties start usually after 10pm many parents don't know if their teenager is going to an underground party. The teen usually says they are spending the night at a friends house and they sneak out of the friends house to go to the party.
I have had many teenagers tell me about these parties. When I point out the risk such as they don't know anything about who set it up, the safety of the area or the warehouse, the safety of the people since they just met these people and the safety of the drugs since they have no idea about what they are really taking or drinking. Teenagers tend to say that I am over concerned and there is nothing to worry about because they have gone to these parties before.
However, the fire in Oakland shows there is something to worry about. The organizer had no concerns about safety nor is he taking responsibility for the fire and what happened. Furthermore, since it was done secretly no one knows for sure who was there and if they are safe or not. I saw a page on Facebook for people to check in as safe. However, this doesn't help the families who are waiting to hear about a loved one or who lost a loved one.
Parents this is an excellent time to sit down with your teenager and talk about these "underground parties." Discuss the dangers associated with these parties. Teenagers may argue about the fact that these parties are safe, but point to the Oakland party as an example that the parties are not safe. Discuss with your teen other places they can go to and hear the tech and dance music and where they can go and dance.
Parents we also need to put pressure on the authorities to hold the owner of these warehouses and party organizers responsible for what happens at these parties. This fire was a horrific event, but many kids overdose at these parties. Many of these teens die because no one wants to call the police or everyone is so busy dancing and using that they don't notice if someone has overdosed. Again, the organizer is never held responsible.
One last point, parents when you discuss the "underground parties" with your teenagers use the Oakland fire as proof that bad things can and do happen. Many teenagers feel safe taking chances with their lives because they don't believe anything will happen to them. The tragedy in Oakland proves something can happen.
My thoughts and prayers are with the families who lost a loved one in the fire or who are still waiting to hear. My thoughts and prayers are also with the first responders who are working day and night and also being traumatized by what they are seeing. This is a terrible tragedy that we hopefully will learn from and prevent another tragedy in the future.
Dr. Michael Rubino has over 19 years experience working with teenagers and learning about their online activities. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3.
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Why Some Teenagers Act Out
It seems that many adults do not really understand what children want from adults. It also seems from what I have seen and heard that many adults do not understand that children are not bad. Children are not born bad, we make them bad by how we treat them. Yes you do have children with loving parents and families who make very poor choices in their lives. As a result, they end up in jail or hurting people. However, these are the rare cases.
The most important relationships in a child's life is his/her relationship with his/her parents. A child wants love and to feel wanted by their parents. Parents are a child's safety net. As long as Mom and Dad are okay then they are okay. If their parents are not okay, then a child's safety and life is in danger. Children cannot tolerate this fear. Therefore, if their parents have a problem instead of seeing their parents with problems a child changes the situation so their parents are great and the child is bad.
I have seen this many times with foster children. Their parents are usually great people and Social Services are being mean to their parents. They can be living is the best foster home in the world and if you ask them if they want to return to their natural parents, they say yes. They are desperate for that validation from their parents.
The problem is many parents do not know how to express love to their children because they never experienced it themselves as children. Therefore, they do the best they can do and feel they are good parents because they are better than their parents. However, when they hear their children asking for more they get mad at their children. They want their children to validate them for being good parents. They do not understand that a child doesn't have the cognitive abilities to do so.
Therefore, a child tends to feel unloved, unwanted and form a belief they are useless. They tend to hang around people who reinforce this belief. They are afraid of people who might love them. They are afraid these people will discover the truth about them and leave them. They feel safer with the people who tell them they are worthless.
Walking around with this feeling can hurt a great deal. As a result, kids start to do drugs, alcohol and hang out with gangs. The drugs and alcohol help to numb out the pain of feeling worthless while at the same time it reinforces the belief that they are worthless.
Most often these kids act out at school and tend to get arrested for stealing or drugs. Some people try to help but the child pushes people away. It is better to leave someone than to be left. Most people get tired and say there is nothing else they can go and give up. Once again, reinforcing the child's belief.
These are the children and teenagers who really need our help. The harder they push us away, the harder we have to say we won't go. There have been many times that I have hint to Juvenile Hall to do sessions. The teen is shocked! I tell them that I told them they can push as hard as they want, but I won't believe they are bad or walk out. At times this is difficult because they often test me over and over to see if I am for real. If they see I am for real, I am only one person they need other people to stay.
What I have seen in working with teens who act out for over 19 years, is they are looking for someone to say I care and you are important. They prefer that it comes from their biological parents, but once they accept their biological parents cannot provide this, they look to other adults.
Those of us who work with acting out teenagers as therapists, teachers or foster parents need to understand how severely these children have been hurt by their biological parents and the hard work it takes helping them over come that wound.
Extended family such as aunts and uncles, you too need to understand how deep the wound is for these kids. If you are not dealing with your own wounds, they need you to be in it for the long run.
This may seem like I am asking for a great deal, but look at how many teens are dying from suicide, drug overdose, shootings etc. When you see the number of young lives being lost you can see that it is worth the effort.
Yes it takes a great deal of effort but when you communicate to a teen that yes you are worth something, you are love able and I care about you. Watch how they go out into the world and help others and share love with others. So the price is worth seeing a teen full of life and going out and sharing it with the world. Watch some of Challenge Day's videos on YouTube to see the love teens can spread if we give them love.
Dr. Michael Rubino has over 19 years experience working with high risk teenagers & foster children and is an expert in this area. For more information on Dr Rubino visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or follow him on Twitter @RubinoTherapy.
The most important relationships in a child's life is his/her relationship with his/her parents. A child wants love and to feel wanted by their parents. Parents are a child's safety net. As long as Mom and Dad are okay then they are okay. If their parents are not okay, then a child's safety and life is in danger. Children cannot tolerate this fear. Therefore, if their parents have a problem instead of seeing their parents with problems a child changes the situation so their parents are great and the child is bad.
I have seen this many times with foster children. Their parents are usually great people and Social Services are being mean to their parents. They can be living is the best foster home in the world and if you ask them if they want to return to their natural parents, they say yes. They are desperate for that validation from their parents.
The problem is many parents do not know how to express love to their children because they never experienced it themselves as children. Therefore, they do the best they can do and feel they are good parents because they are better than their parents. However, when they hear their children asking for more they get mad at their children. They want their children to validate them for being good parents. They do not understand that a child doesn't have the cognitive abilities to do so.
Therefore, a child tends to feel unloved, unwanted and form a belief they are useless. They tend to hang around people who reinforce this belief. They are afraid of people who might love them. They are afraid these people will discover the truth about them and leave them. They feel safer with the people who tell them they are worthless.
Walking around with this feeling can hurt a great deal. As a result, kids start to do drugs, alcohol and hang out with gangs. The drugs and alcohol help to numb out the pain of feeling worthless while at the same time it reinforces the belief that they are worthless.
Most often these kids act out at school and tend to get arrested for stealing or drugs. Some people try to help but the child pushes people away. It is better to leave someone than to be left. Most people get tired and say there is nothing else they can go and give up. Once again, reinforcing the child's belief.
These are the children and teenagers who really need our help. The harder they push us away, the harder we have to say we won't go. There have been many times that I have hint to Juvenile Hall to do sessions. The teen is shocked! I tell them that I told them they can push as hard as they want, but I won't believe they are bad or walk out. At times this is difficult because they often test me over and over to see if I am for real. If they see I am for real, I am only one person they need other people to stay.
What I have seen in working with teens who act out for over 19 years, is they are looking for someone to say I care and you are important. They prefer that it comes from their biological parents, but once they accept their biological parents cannot provide this, they look to other adults.
Those of us who work with acting out teenagers as therapists, teachers or foster parents need to understand how severely these children have been hurt by their biological parents and the hard work it takes helping them over come that wound.
Extended family such as aunts and uncles, you too need to understand how deep the wound is for these kids. If you are not dealing with your own wounds, they need you to be in it for the long run.
This may seem like I am asking for a great deal, but look at how many teens are dying from suicide, drug overdose, shootings etc. When you see the number of young lives being lost you can see that it is worth the effort.
Yes it takes a great deal of effort but when you communicate to a teen that yes you are worth something, you are love able and I care about you. Watch how they go out into the world and help others and share love with others. So the price is worth seeing a teen full of life and going out and sharing it with the world. Watch some of Challenge Day's videos on YouTube to see the love teens can spread if we give them love.
Dr. Michael Rubino has over 19 years experience working with high risk teenagers & foster children and is an expert in this area. For more information on Dr Rubino visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or follow him on Twitter @RubinoTherapy.
Friday, November 25, 2016
A New Issue Related to Teenage Concussions
Many parents of high school athletes are aware of the dangers of concussions. Even one concussion can cause permanent damage according to recent research studies. However, there is another condition that parents need to be aware of when their child plays sports. This disorder is CTE. CTE is Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) it is a progressive degenerative disease of the brain found in athletes (and others) with a history of repetitive brain trauma, including symptomatic concussions as well as asymptomatic subconcussive hits to the head.
Our brain sits in our skull surrounded by fluid. Therefore, any time anyone hits their head or their head is jarred around, the brain moves in this fluid hitting the front and back of your skull or the sides of the skull depending on what direction the force came from. When the brain hits the skull it can cause bruising and microscopic tears of very fine nerve fibers. Nerve fibers that are too small to be seen on an MRI or a CT scan.
Physicians have known that CTE effects boxers for many years, however, it was just recently that evidence showed that football players are at risk too. This was the main focus of the movie, Concussion, starring Will Smith. The NFL did everything they could to stop the filming of this movie. The movie shows how CTE results in the patient becoming severely depressed and psychotic. Many of the patients with CTE commit suicide. Also many CTE patients were football players.
Why is this important for parents to know? It is important because CTE is caused by chronic head injuries. Head injuries that date back to when a teenager was playing high school sports. Therefore, it is important for parents to ensure that their teenager's school is using the latest safety gear, especially for the head, and to take any head injuries seriously. There is no way to tell what will happen when these teenagers become adults.
As an adolescent psychotherapist who has been practicing for 19 years, I am seeing more evidence of this every year. Every year I am seeing more teens with Post Concussion Syndrome. This may occur after a concussion and can be associated with headaches, mood swings and memory difficulties. The teenagers who experiences this Syndrome become very frustrated because they are aware of the changes and because no one can say how long the symptoms will continue. In fact, no one can guarantee that the symptoms will disappear.
This becomes very frustrating to the teenager and their parents. Some teenagers are so overwhelmed that they start self-medicating with drugs and alcohol. Anything that they think might help. Others become so depressed because they fear that the symptoms are permanent that they become suicidal and may attempt suicide.
For many years these head injuries in teenagers were down played because there was not enough evidence to indicate that teenagers could be impacted by head injuries. Well the research clearly indicates that teenagers can suffer long term results from a single concussion. Additionally, this can create symptoms that are overwhelming for the teenager and their family. Imagine being a parent and you see your child suffering with Post Concussion Syndrome and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Parents also become depressed and nervous that their child may never recover.
Another issue to consider, in CTE, patients have mood swings and feel like they are going crazy. They do not understand what is happening inside their head. Many teenagers who act out often report the same feelings and the fear that they are going crazy. Many of these teenagers have had head injuries. It is possible that teenagers may also suffer from CTE?
Everyone's brain is different and so is the recovery process. This means we have no way of knowing how many Concussions or head traumas it takes before CTE is started in someone. It also means we have no way to determine how long it will take for someone to recover from a concussion or if they will have permanent impairments. We only can tell after it occurs not before.
We do know that patients recovering from Post Concussion Syndrome or dealing with CTE can benefit from psychotherapy. Often this option is not given to teenagers because again many people believe teenagers are very unlikely to suffer with these issues. However, if you look at the research it indicates that teenagers can and do suffer from Post Concussion Syndrome and teenage head injuries can cause CTE.
As a psychotherapist who treats teenagers with head injuries, I strongly encourage every parent to watch the movie, Concussion. Also before your child starts playing any competitive sports, such as football or soccer, go online and research head injuries and signs and symptoms of concussions. Also if you teenager does sustain a head injury while playing sports or just playing have them evaluated. You never know how severe a head injury is by just looking at someone. A few years ago an actress fell in the snow and her friends said to go to the doctor she said she was fine. Two hours later she was dead. When she fell she caused her brain to bleed and she died.
Above all, use your best judgement as a parent. Do not be afraid to ask for a CT scan or an MRI if your child suffers any type of head injury. If your teenager does sustain a concussion and you notice a personality change or memory issues do not hesitate to seek psychotherapy for your child and for yourselves. Also don't hesitate to talk to your teenagers high school. If the teenager is having problems concentrating after a head injury, the school may need to provide them with accommodations until the child recovers.
This can be an overwhelming and frightening topic to consider but the more you educate yourself, the easier it will be to manage. If you have additional questions regarding the personality changes or neuropsychological changes with head injuries, please feel free to contact me.
Dr. Michael Rubino has been treating children and teenagers for over 19 years. He also has training in neuropsychology. For more information about Dr. Rubino's work or private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or his website that deals with accommodations at school www.lucascenter.org
Our brain sits in our skull surrounded by fluid. Therefore, any time anyone hits their head or their head is jarred around, the brain moves in this fluid hitting the front and back of your skull or the sides of the skull depending on what direction the force came from. When the brain hits the skull it can cause bruising and microscopic tears of very fine nerve fibers. Nerve fibers that are too small to be seen on an MRI or a CT scan.
Physicians have known that CTE effects boxers for many years, however, it was just recently that evidence showed that football players are at risk too. This was the main focus of the movie, Concussion, starring Will Smith. The NFL did everything they could to stop the filming of this movie. The movie shows how CTE results in the patient becoming severely depressed and psychotic. Many of the patients with CTE commit suicide. Also many CTE patients were football players.
Why is this important for parents to know? It is important because CTE is caused by chronic head injuries. Head injuries that date back to when a teenager was playing high school sports. Therefore, it is important for parents to ensure that their teenager's school is using the latest safety gear, especially for the head, and to take any head injuries seriously. There is no way to tell what will happen when these teenagers become adults.
As an adolescent psychotherapist who has been practicing for 19 years, I am seeing more evidence of this every year. Every year I am seeing more teens with Post Concussion Syndrome. This may occur after a concussion and can be associated with headaches, mood swings and memory difficulties. The teenagers who experiences this Syndrome become very frustrated because they are aware of the changes and because no one can say how long the symptoms will continue. In fact, no one can guarantee that the symptoms will disappear.
This becomes very frustrating to the teenager and their parents. Some teenagers are so overwhelmed that they start self-medicating with drugs and alcohol. Anything that they think might help. Others become so depressed because they fear that the symptoms are permanent that they become suicidal and may attempt suicide.
For many years these head injuries in teenagers were down played because there was not enough evidence to indicate that teenagers could be impacted by head injuries. Well the research clearly indicates that teenagers can suffer long term results from a single concussion. Additionally, this can create symptoms that are overwhelming for the teenager and their family. Imagine being a parent and you see your child suffering with Post Concussion Syndrome and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Parents also become depressed and nervous that their child may never recover.
Another issue to consider, in CTE, patients have mood swings and feel like they are going crazy. They do not understand what is happening inside their head. Many teenagers who act out often report the same feelings and the fear that they are going crazy. Many of these teenagers have had head injuries. It is possible that teenagers may also suffer from CTE?
Everyone's brain is different and so is the recovery process. This means we have no way of knowing how many Concussions or head traumas it takes before CTE is started in someone. It also means we have no way to determine how long it will take for someone to recover from a concussion or if they will have permanent impairments. We only can tell after it occurs not before.
We do know that patients recovering from Post Concussion Syndrome or dealing with CTE can benefit from psychotherapy. Often this option is not given to teenagers because again many people believe teenagers are very unlikely to suffer with these issues. However, if you look at the research it indicates that teenagers can and do suffer from Post Concussion Syndrome and teenage head injuries can cause CTE.
As a psychotherapist who treats teenagers with head injuries, I strongly encourage every parent to watch the movie, Concussion. Also before your child starts playing any competitive sports, such as football or soccer, go online and research head injuries and signs and symptoms of concussions. Also if you teenager does sustain a head injury while playing sports or just playing have them evaluated. You never know how severe a head injury is by just looking at someone. A few years ago an actress fell in the snow and her friends said to go to the doctor she said she was fine. Two hours later she was dead. When she fell she caused her brain to bleed and she died.
Above all, use your best judgement as a parent. Do not be afraid to ask for a CT scan or an MRI if your child suffers any type of head injury. If your teenager does sustain a concussion and you notice a personality change or memory issues do not hesitate to seek psychotherapy for your child and for yourselves. Also don't hesitate to talk to your teenagers high school. If the teenager is having problems concentrating after a head injury, the school may need to provide them with accommodations until the child recovers.
This can be an overwhelming and frightening topic to consider but the more you educate yourself, the easier it will be to manage. If you have additional questions regarding the personality changes or neuropsychological changes with head injuries, please feel free to contact me.
Dr. Michael Rubino has been treating children and teenagers for over 19 years. He also has training in neuropsychology. For more information about Dr. Rubino's work or private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or his website that deals with accommodations at school www.lucascenter.org
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
The Importance of Extended Family
In our fast pace world and chaotic lives we sometimes forget the importance of passing on traditions from generation to generation. Another problem that impacts this is our society has become very mobile. We no longer live close to our relatives. It's not uncommon for grandchildren to live in California and grandparents to live back east. And with jobs becoming more difficult to find and the cost of living increasing families are moving where ever they can find a job or to a place where the cost of living is affordable.
The problem is the close family provided support and help for the family. Children could establish close relationships with grandparents and aunts and uncles. These adults could serve as additional role models and inform parents if something seemed off with the child.
The other thing that the close connection to generations was a sense of security. If there was a problem a child knew they could turn to their parents, aunts or uncles or cousins. It also helped a child's self-esteem. You had the adults who could reinforce that you were worthy and you had cousins who would defend you at school or in the neighborhood because you were worth it. Also your older cousins could help you learn what to expect as you went from grade to grade. There was a sense of support and security that most children don't have today.
The advancement in computers and communication may provide a way to try to recreate this sense of family. With such things as Skype where you can talk and see the other person, it's almost like being with the person. Children can Skype with grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins too. We just have to make time for it. For those families that live close to each other, you need to remember the value of family and make time for family. At times it may be difficult, but you will find that the time and effort are worth it. I have found that children with close family ties and connections to their cultures do better. They have a sense of pride and a sense of where the came from that other children don't.
I have attached a link to an article with a link to an article about sharing traditions with family. Check out this article from First 5 LA: http://www.first5la.org/index.php?r=site/article&id=3615&utm_content=buffere936a&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer.
I think you will find it interesting.
Dr Michael Rubino has been working with children/teens and their families for over 19 years and is well respected. For more information at Dr Rubino's work or his private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com.
The problem is the close family provided support and help for the family. Children could establish close relationships with grandparents and aunts and uncles. These adults could serve as additional role models and inform parents if something seemed off with the child.
The other thing that the close connection to generations was a sense of security. If there was a problem a child knew they could turn to their parents, aunts or uncles or cousins. It also helped a child's self-esteem. You had the adults who could reinforce that you were worthy and you had cousins who would defend you at school or in the neighborhood because you were worth it. Also your older cousins could help you learn what to expect as you went from grade to grade. There was a sense of support and security that most children don't have today.
The advancement in computers and communication may provide a way to try to recreate this sense of family. With such things as Skype where you can talk and see the other person, it's almost like being with the person. Children can Skype with grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins too. We just have to make time for it. For those families that live close to each other, you need to remember the value of family and make time for family. At times it may be difficult, but you will find that the time and effort are worth it. I have found that children with close family ties and connections to their cultures do better. They have a sense of pride and a sense of where the came from that other children don't.
I have attached a link to an article with a link to an article about sharing traditions with family. Check out this article from First 5 LA: http://www.first5la.org/index.php?r=site/article&id=3615&utm_content=buffere936a&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer.
I think you will find it interesting.
Dr Michael Rubino has been working with children/teens and their families for over 19 years and is well respected. For more information at Dr Rubino's work or his private practice visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com.
Saturday, November 19, 2016
Pink the new drug in town
Parents the name you need to know right now is Pink. This is the street name of a new synthetic drug being used by teenagers and college students. The legal name for this drug is U4. The DEA of the United States has banned the sale of this drug in all 50 states. However, the drug is still for sale on the internet. It is being sold by companies in China and it is being sold at a very cheap price. Therefore, teenagers can get it very easily.
This drug is twice as strong and heroin and seven times as strong as morphine. People often die the first time they use it. So far 100 deaths in the U.S. have been linked to Pink. It is currently mainly on the east coast but it is spreading across the country very quickly.
The drug comes in a white powder. Many teens assume they can use the same amount as if they were using morphine or heroin. However, this assumption is wrong. The drug is so deadly that the amount equivalent to a few grains of sand can kill someone. They call it Pink because teenagers typically snort it off their pinky. Teenagers who are buying this drug online often ignore the warning on the website that this drug is not for human consumption.
The DEA became aware of the drug two years ago and put a temporary ban on it. Now after further studies they have banned the sale of U4 or the street name for the drug, Pink, in all 50 states. Remember this drug is twice as strong as heroin and seven times as strong as morphine. We already have an epidemic of accidental overdosages from heroin in the U.S. The CDC estimated that in 2014 there were 50,000 deaths due to accidental heroin overdosages and a majority of these deaths were teenagers. Furthermore, the CDC statistics show a 62% increase over the past ten years in the number of accidental heroin deaths. Again most of the deaths are teenagers and children as young as 12 years old. Pink has the possibility to be far more devastating than any other drug.
As parents you need to go online and educate yourself about this drug. You also need to educate your teenagers and children in college about how dangerous this drug is in reality. Maybe they have already used it and nothing happened so they think people are exaggerating how dangerous this drug can be. However, this is the point you really need to understand this drug comes as a powder and using the size of one grain of sand too much can kill. There is no way to tell if you have too much on your pinky. Also since it is very new, we do not know the long term effects of this drug.
So again as parents educate your children about this drug and point out it states not for human use on many of the websites. Also if you notice any packages or bank charges by your teenager for buying items in China, check it out. This drug is not for sale in this country and the main way that people are obtaining it is via the internet from companies in China who still sell this drug.
Dr. Michael Rubino specializes in treating high risk teenagers. Those are teens who are suicidal, engage in cutting and drug use. These are a few examples but he is also an expert in providing psychotherapy to children and teenagers in general. For more information regarding his work or private visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or follow him on Twitter @RubinoTherapy.
This drug is twice as strong and heroin and seven times as strong as morphine. People often die the first time they use it. So far 100 deaths in the U.S. have been linked to Pink. It is currently mainly on the east coast but it is spreading across the country very quickly.
The drug comes in a white powder. Many teens assume they can use the same amount as if they were using morphine or heroin. However, this assumption is wrong. The drug is so deadly that the amount equivalent to a few grains of sand can kill someone. They call it Pink because teenagers typically snort it off their pinky. Teenagers who are buying this drug online often ignore the warning on the website that this drug is not for human consumption.
The DEA became aware of the drug two years ago and put a temporary ban on it. Now after further studies they have banned the sale of U4 or the street name for the drug, Pink, in all 50 states. Remember this drug is twice as strong as heroin and seven times as strong as morphine. We already have an epidemic of accidental overdosages from heroin in the U.S. The CDC estimated that in 2014 there were 50,000 deaths due to accidental heroin overdosages and a majority of these deaths were teenagers. Furthermore, the CDC statistics show a 62% increase over the past ten years in the number of accidental heroin deaths. Again most of the deaths are teenagers and children as young as 12 years old. Pink has the possibility to be far more devastating than any other drug.
As parents you need to go online and educate yourself about this drug. You also need to educate your teenagers and children in college about how dangerous this drug is in reality. Maybe they have already used it and nothing happened so they think people are exaggerating how dangerous this drug can be. However, this is the point you really need to understand this drug comes as a powder and using the size of one grain of sand too much can kill. There is no way to tell if you have too much on your pinky. Also since it is very new, we do not know the long term effects of this drug.
So again as parents educate your children about this drug and point out it states not for human use on many of the websites. Also if you notice any packages or bank charges by your teenager for buying items in China, check it out. This drug is not for sale in this country and the main way that people are obtaining it is via the internet from companies in China who still sell this drug.
Dr. Michael Rubino specializes in treating high risk teenagers. Those are teens who are suicidal, engage in cutting and drug use. These are a few examples but he is also an expert in providing psychotherapy to children and teenagers in general. For more information regarding his work or private visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or follow him on Twitter @RubinoTherapy.
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